Humor

I Child Proofed My House And They Still Keep Getting In / 6X6 Reclaimed Wood Sign

Life Is Better In Pajamas / 10X10 Reclaimed Wood Sign

If You're Looking For A Sign That You Should Have A Glass Of Wine... / 10X10 Reclaimed Wood Sign

Hold on... Let me overthink this / 6x6 Reclaimed Wood Sign

I would do anything to be thin. Except diet and exercise. / 10x10 Reclaimed Wood Sign

Relax We're all crazy it's not a competition / 14x14 Reclaimed Wood Sign

Made with love and a dash of who gives a shit / Kitchen Towel

It's ok if you fall apart sometimes... Tacos fall part and we still love them / Kitchen Towel

Some things are better left unsaid which I generally realize after I have said them / Kitchen Towel

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes / Kitchen Towel

I know the voices aren't real but man do they come up with some great ideas / Kitchen Towel

Thou shalt not try me - Mom 24/7 / Kitchen Towel

When one door closes talk shit about it / Kitchen Towel

I keep hearing it takes a village to raise a child... Do they just show up? Or is there like a number to call? / Kitchen Towel

No matter what life throws at you at least you didn't have ugly children / Kitchen Towel

I have it all together (I just forgot where I put it.) / 14x6 Reclaimed Wood Sign

I want to be a nice person but everyone is just stupid / 6x14 Reclaimed Wood Sign

Lord Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth. Amen. / 12x24 Reclaimed Wood Sign

If you see me talking to myself, just move along. We are having a team meeting. / 24x12 Reclaimed Wood Sign

Love and you shall be loved.

Kitchen for display only

Careful, Free Range Children.

My cooking is so awesome, even the smoke alarm cheers me on.

My favorite thing to make for dinner is reservations.

I thank God for my children every day. Without them, I would not have realized how well mac and cheese pairs with white wine.

Motherhood. You know your life has changed when going to the grocery store by yourself is a vacation.

Ten years ago I was cool. Today I awoke to a child's finger in my nose, wore pj's all day and applied antiwrinkle cream. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Sarcasm (noun) The brain's natural defense against dumb.

Remember, as far as everyone knows we are a normal family

Chocolate comes from cocoa, which comes from a tree. That makes chocolate a plant. Therefore, chocolate counts as a salad. The End.