Kitchen Towels

You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I ever wanted in a friend.

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I'm not saying I am Wonder Woman. I am just saying that no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room.

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You is kind. You is smart. You is important. ~Aibileen Clark

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I'm sorry for what I said when I was hungry.

If you have to ask if it is too early to drink wine, you're an amateur and we can't be friends.

I love you a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck.

One glass of wine away from telling everyone what I really think.

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How do I like my eggs? Umm, in a cake.

One martini, two martini, three martini, Floor!

You're ridiculous. And by that I mean we'll always be friends.

I Do Not Have Ducks Or A Row I Have Squirrels Kitchen Towel

Happy wife, happy life.

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Give yourself some grace today

The only reason I have a kitchen is because it came with the house.

I drink bourbon because I don't like to keep things bottled up.

You're making it difficult for me to be the parent I always imagined I would be.

Good friends offer advice and wisdom. *Best friends come over unannounced with vodka, super-hero costumes, glitter, fireworks, and bacon.

Lord keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

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I'm not bossy. I just know what you should be doing.

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I won't be remembered as a woman who kept her mouth shut. I'm OK with that.

Life is too short to just have one dog.

You will always be the sister of my soul, and the friend of my heart.

A good friend knows all of your crazy stories. A best friend has lived them with you.

Oh Relax Obviously Nothing Is Under Control Kitchen Towel

Dear Lord, Please don't let my husband be home when all my online orders arrive. -Amen..

A clean house is the sign of a wasted life.

In this house, we play fetch, go for walks, clean up messes, accept bad breath, get wet kisses, give belly rubs, go for rides, & love dogs.

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Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic.

I'll have a cafe-mocha-vodka-valium-latte to go, please.

Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.