Kitchen Towels

You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I ever wanted in a friend.

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I'm not saying I am Wonder Woman. I am just saying that no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room.

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You is kind. You is smart. You is important. ~Aibileen Clark

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I'm sorry for what I said when I was hungry.

If you have to ask if it is too early to drink wine, you're an amateur and we can't be friends.

I love you a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck.

One glass of wine away from telling everyone what I really think.

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How do I like my eggs? Umm, in a cake.

One martini, two martini, three martini, Floor!

You're ridiculous. And by that I mean we'll always be friends.

Give yourself some grace today

I Do Not Have Ducks Or A Row I Have Squirrels Kitchen Towel

The only reason I have a kitchen is because it came with the house.

I drink bourbon because I don't like to keep things bottled up.

You're making it difficult for me to be the parent I always imagined I would be.

Good friends offer advice and wisdom. *Best friends come over unannounced with vodka, super-hero costumes, glitter, fireworks, and bacon.

Happy wife, happy life.

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Lord keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

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I'm not bossy. I just know what you should be doing.

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Life is too short to just have one dog.

A good friend knows all of your crazy stories. A best friend has lived them with you.

Dear Lord, Please don't let my husband be home when all my online orders arrive. -Amen..

A clean house is the sign of a wasted life.

In this house, we play fetch, go for walks, clean up messes, accept bad breath, get wet kisses, give belly rubs, go for rides, & love dogs.

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You will always be the sister of my soul, and the friend of my heart.

Oh Relax Obviously Nothing Is Under Control Kitchen Towel

I'll have a cafe-mocha-vodka-valium-latte to go, please.

Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.

If you are lucky enough to be at the lake, you are lucky enough.

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic.