Humor

You are about to exceed the limits of my medication. / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on facebook. / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest. / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

You know it's been a good day when I didn't have to unleash the flying monkeys. / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

I'm particularly fond of mischief, mayhem & moonshine. / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

I have decided that I no longer want to be an adult. If anyone needs me, I will be in my blanket fort....coloring. / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

Hey y'all / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

We've been friends for so long, I can't rememer which one of us is the bad influence. / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

I'm feeling a little overworked and underintoxicated. / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

Laundry room -get all the good dirt here- / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

Kids and silence go together like matches and roman candles. / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

Nope, no monsters here. Carry on. / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

Out of my mind (back in five minutes) / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

Sometimes I pretend to be normal. / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

Excuse me while I strap your phone to my forehead so I can at least pretend you are looking at me when I talk. / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

If raising children is such a priceless experience, why does it have to be so expensive? / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

Based on my calculations, I can retire about 5 years after I die. / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

Another fine day ruined by responsibility / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

I am a skilled, trained professional in pointing out the obvious and I speak fluent sarcasm. / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

The only thing to fear is fear itself ...and spiders. / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

Always be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn. / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

In my defense, I was left unsupervised. / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the right places. / 14"x6" Reclaimed Wood Sign

Important stuff (jk it's wine) / Natural Tote Bag

Quietly judging your plastic bag / Natural Tote Bag

I wish I was as tired as I thought I was before I had kids / Natural Tote Bag

Oh Kale Yeah / Natural Tote Bag

Don't judge my dog & I won't judge your children / Natural Tote Bag